We aren't called fertility warriors for nothing. And warriors have stories.
Let's GO.
During this soft launch season, I'm sharing mini stories & feature bits on some incredibly special women. Stay tuned for more on their journeys + submit your story and/or nominate a friend today!
Link below.
Meet Stephanie,
a fertility ultrasound tech, longing for a baby of her own...
I first met Stephanie after flying to Colorado to begin treatment at CCRM after failing IVF in L.A. She came in the room ready to perform the exam and I was already in tears on the exam table. I felt so broken and hopeless. Little did I know until much later, that Stephanie was also going through the same long and arduous battle of her own. Her story is one of tremendous strength and bravery; I'm honored to call her my dear friend.
The day I lost my babies, I lost so much more. I lost the trust in my body. I lost the sense of peace that I had with a positive pregnancy test. I lost the joy of those two pink lines. I lost the future I fell in love with. I lost of part of me too.
_ Stephanie
Fertility ultrasound tech, Ivf warrior, incredible Friend, Wife, and Mother of 2 miraclES
from Stephanie's journal
So many paths to take. So many choices…. But choices are so hard to make when your marriage isn’t where you want it to be, and losing babies didn’t make it any easier. And yet you want to bring life into a picture perfect home….. but that rarely happens. I lost 3 babies in one year (and now I have two I get to hug every day). I always heard, God has a plan. But I wanted His plan to be my plan, and could never understand why it wasn’t. I still don’t.
The day I lost my babies, I lost so much more. I lost the trust in my body. I lost the sense of peace that I had with a positive pregnancy test. I lost the joy of those two pink lines. I lost the future I fell in love with. I lost of part of me too. Over and over again - I pushed it down, the pain. I told no one about the pain, not even my husband because uttering any acknowledgment of the pain, brought it closer to my heart.
I thought it would bring truth to the fear of my future. I loved every pregnancy I lost. I had separate dreams for each of you. There is no way to prepare yourself for what you will endure while going through a miscarriage. No amount of planning or research will ever be enough to lessen the pain that comes with this type of loss, and no matter the circumstances in which they occur neither your head nor your heart will ever be able to ready themselves for what they are about to encounter. It doesn’t happen in an instant, and the feelings don’t disappear in a day.
They stick with you forever, and they know no time limit. Regardless of how many times you go through it, the heartbreak you feel is always the same. No matter how many living children you had, you never forget the love for the others. It’s not something you’ll be able to forget about, no matter how hard you try and erase it from your memories. And the scars it leaves in place of what has taken are permanent.
Pregnancy loss goes way beyond just losing a baby. It is an experience that is indescribable, and one I would never wish upon anybody. It takes your peace, your faith, your dreams… just gone. And as women we have to just keep going like nothing has happened. They are dark and lonely moments. You ever know what anyone is going through, be kind.
Meet dorothy
FROM MISCARRIAGES TO LITERAL CHRISTMAS MIRACLE:
There are occasions now, when I look at her or see her in the midst of an activity and God reminds me of the absolute miracle she is in our lives. I’ve long known that God does not ever waste a hurt or pain—that He truly can use everything that happens in our lives for the good of those who love him—and she is that reminder. I had heard it said often—my head knew it—but it wasn’t until she was born that I understood it with my heart. Had we not gone through 4 miscarriages, 4 surgeries, a ton of heartache, tears and pain—we wouldn’t have…her. I can’t imagine life without her. Our second child. She’s the perfect little combination of a silly, adorable, fearless, caring, Jesus-loving, compassionate kid you could find. My husband and I often wonder “what is God going to do with her life?!” For what He brought us through to bring her into this world—He must have a magnificent plan, right?
There were times we wanted to give up. I remember where I was for the first miscarriage. My husband and I had been playing softball with friends. Miscarriage wasn’t even a thought we considered. Then, it happened. It was then I was told multiple times in the hospital “this happens a lot.” The next 3 times it happened are all a blur. Over the span of 3 years we were pregnant 4 times and could not get our babies past the first trimester. After the first one, we immediately knew we would try again because “this happens to everyone” right? That’s what we were told anyway. After the second one, we really didn’t know what to do. We prayed. And cried. And we prayed. And cried. And we prayed. And we did this after each miscarriage. Each time we would find out we were pregnant, we were filled with so much hope—and you can’t but help then plan out what life is going to be like for the next 9 months. Everything shifts—your schedule, your activities, your priorities.
So each time we miscarried, we felt so lost, so confused and so disoriented. Through each of those times, I begged God—please—if you do not want us to keep trying—please make it clear to us. My doctor was discouraging us. I didn’t even tell my family because I felt they would tell us to stop putting ourselves through the pain. Each time though, we both felt God filling us with hope and we would try again. Somewhere in all of this, we were reminded of a friend that had lost a child and had gone to acupuncture. We called her and she gave us all the information and said we must go to a consultation with her doctor, so we did. I didn’t quite understand how acupuncture could help us having a baby but in this doctor’s office were walls filled with photos of babies. All of the babies he had helped God bring into this world. THAT I couldn’t forget and THAT filled me with hope yet again.
After months of acupuncture and adjusting our life to give us our best opportunity to become pregnant, we became pregnant. We were so excited, so happy—and at this point—wondering if we were going to get to keep this baby. 1 month turned to 2, 3 turned into 4 months and that’s when we finally shared the news with our family and friends. Looking back, I know I was cautious throughout the pregnancy because I never knew if it was the day that we might lose her like the previous 4 babies.
It was a weird place to be where we were so excited, yet fearful all in one. Her due date was December 17. I thought that was a neat date because it’s one of my brother’s birthdays too. December 17 came and went. December 20. December 21. And then it happened—it was Christmas Eve and we went into labor. On Christmas morning, at 8:06 AM she was born. She was a Christmas miracle, our living answer to prayer. Her big sister’s prayer was answered too as she had long prayed and asked God to bring her a baby sister. It was not lost on us that God didn’t choose just any day in December to be her day—but He chose THE day that we celebrate His Son coming to earth. She is so proud to share her birthday with Jesus—in our minds—there is no one better to share it with. Through our journey, we of course are thankful that God chose for us to be able to bring this baby girl into the world. Our hearts are acutely aware of the miracle that she is—and also—that some do not have the same outcome as our story. Our hearts break for those struggling with infertility. We know your pain, we see you, and we're believing for your miracle too.
dorothy is the Former Disneyland Ambassador, A Fertility warrior, amazing mother to 2 miracles, wife, friend, legendary spin instructor, and on the pastoral team at saddleback church.
Meet Jo
I always dreamed of being called mom. Sometimes things don’t always work out the way you plan. I never thought I wouldn’t get married till the age of 30 nor never bear children of my own. Grief is hard, grief is real. I grieved over the loss of creating a life with the love of my life. I grieved over my body not being able to do what it was created for. I grieved the chance to hold a newborn to call my own. Grief can either consume you or fire another passion inside of you.
Thankfully I put my trust in the One who already had the best plan for me. I just needed to trust His ways are better than my own. I was able to let go of my grief and hold on to the promises that the means to become a mother through adoption was His perfect plan for me. He put that passion in me. Looking forward instead of behind became my focus. The road to becoming a adoptive mother is a roller coaster, I’m not going to lie, but so rewarding. He heard my cries and I was able to hold a newborn that I would one day call my own. I met a toddler on foreign soil that would steal my heart and eventually call me mom.
Two women chose life, so I could fulfill my hearts desires. I will forever be grateful for these two women. They will always hold a special place in life for completing my dream to be called mom.
From Infertility to International adoption
Jo is an educator, coach, mother of 2, photography lover, chicken collector, sports fanatic. Go Broncos!
Meet Lindsey
I was single in my early 40s and realized I didn’t want to miss out on being a mother.
My life had always felt full and purposeful but as I got older and came to terms with the fact that I was getting older. I had spent much of my life investing in building other’s dreams and realized that it was time to put some attention and resources to making my own dream come true.
I talked to some friends who were single mothers and asked about their journey to motherhood. Then I grabbed a close friend and went to a local fertility clinic to explore my options. I took it one step at a time – trying a medicated IUI with a sperm donor and then a Frozen Embryo Transfer with a donor embryo. My first transfer was seemingly successful – but my second pregnancy test revealed my pregnancy hormones began dropping – I’d miscarried or had what they often call a “chemical pregnancy.” That process and the grief I experienced just confirmed my commitment to the journey, so I tried another Frozen Embryo Transfer and 9 months later had my son, Ben.
He’s the very best thing I’ve ever done.
Single mother by Choice (SMBC)
Lindsey (L) and our mutual friend Emlyn (middle), at the TOMS Austin store opening/SXSW. Circa 2015
I had spent much of my life investing in building other’s dreams and realized that it was time to put some attention and resources to making my own dream come true.
_ Lindsey
Lindsey serves as the Vice President of Marketing of Onsite and Milestones, organizations who are working to build an emotionally well world and reconnect humanity. Throughout her career, Lindsey has worked across the for-profit and non-profit sectors in marketing, event planning and management, merchandising, communications, development, and operations. Directly before joining the Onsite team, Lindsey was the strategic force behind the creation and growth of IF:Gathering, building and launching an organization that has impacted millions of women around the world. A natural connector and social justice advocate, Lindsey also has served on the boards of Be the Bridge, Help One Now and The Freedom Story.
Share your hope Stories re:
01
Dominished Ovary Reserve (DOR)
Low Anti-Mullerian Hormone (AMH)
Secondary Infertility
02
Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS)
Single Mother By Choice (SMBC)
03
Egg Donor
Sperm Donor
Miracle after Miscarriage (Rainbow baby)
04
Surrogacy
Traditional Adoption
Embryo Adoption
Embryo Donation
Have a story of hope? Submit your story or nominate a friend's story today!
Question or longer story? Email community@hopehere.com
- Bethany Joy
